RAR- Itchy Armpit

RAR is an abbreviation for RAR logo
and not me growling at the words, “Itchy Armpit”

………

So, I have a really itchy armpit.

It’s an irritation/reaction to soap or something. And since he used to be an EMT, I asked DH to look at it for me. EMTs have medical training, it’s perfectly natural to—OKAY, fine, he’s the only person I know in the entire state, and I think asking strangers to check my armpit would be viewed as weird-to-the-point-of-being-antisocial.
DH, dutifully inspected the offending armpit, but he seemed more focused on how long ago I had shaved it than the itchiness.

………

It was actually really funny.

I was squirming on my side of the couch, fidgeting like a kid with a splinter, and he goes, “Do you think maybe you should shave it?”
And that’s how I got the idea for the comic. To his credit, it had been itching, (and therefor not shaved) for a number of days, so there was a noticeable amount of stubble.

………

Sexist oppression? No

It must be added here, that any women out there who think the act of a husband scrutinizing the frequency of his woman’s armpit-prunage is propagation of the dreaded patriarchy— allow me to assure you that any follicular clipping pertaining to my body stems from my own desire to say,
and not an unrealistic and overly-sanitized male fantasy of how women ought to appear.

………

DH would love me if I looked like a wooly mammoth

He’s probably glad I don’t, but I think there are two really important things necessary in a good relationship.

One: The ability to tell the other person something about how they look is not so nice without starting a fight.

Two: The devotion to stay even if that thing can’t/won’t be changed.

You may recall another recent comic where DH’s character inadvertently calls Violet fat.

In that comic Violet threatens murder, but in reality, I rather agreed with him.

………

My personal mass

There is probably a 30 lb range within which I still look “normal”.

That is, anywhere from 125-155 looks acceptable on my frame. I guess that makes me lucky.

I weigh 125 or less, I start to look pretty gross. I remember at 122lbs in college a professor stopped me in the halls and said, “Oh hey Violet, you look…you look…gooooooooood?” as he viewed me with sympathy and terror. I think he thought I was dying, or possibly a drug-addict.

And if I weight 155 or more than I start to seem really rotund. What my favorite uncle kindly refers to as Rubenesque. But it’s really more like a busted can of biscuit dough.

………

I currently weigh 154 lbs

So DH was well within matrimonial-propriety to let me know I was approaching the top of my fat-ceptibility

And that’s the point I’m trying to make with this comic, this blog post, and in general about healthy relationships, is, you can mention stuff, but don’t be rude, and don’t threaten to leave if they don’t fix it right away.

………

DH doesn’t exfoliate

Why? Because he is a man. A manly man. A lumberjacky, out-in-the-wilderness-killing-cougars-with-his-bare-hands type of man.

Not that type of cougar.

And his dead skin tends to build up in a way that doesn’t feel very nice when I run my hands down his arm.

I have expressed my desire to amend this situation with the furious application of a moist washcloth.
He has declined.
And that’s fine.

………

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s